God in the face of my children

I don't think a day goes by when I don't experience God through my kids. Now don't get me wrong... not everyday is a beautiful, dreamy journey but I do see Him either in what they do, say or like today just in 'being'. One of my favourite things is watching Samuel play outside. He enters another world and just enjoys life. I love it!! He was on the swing today and pumping up as high as he could, as he got closer to the tree branches behind him his smile got bigger and his eyes had this beautiful sparkle. It was so sweet. Then he noticed me watching and this changed everything... he became more aware of it and the sparkle in his eyes was replaced with wanting to be noticed and accepted. I thought of how that happens in our lives... we enjoy life until we remember someone is watching us and then we do things for others so that they will approve and accept what we do. Or we fear doing something wrong or being judged. We become self aware and it takes away joy. But then I flipped this whole thought (yes I was doing dishes and it was a great time of thought provoking analysis) I thought of how we should be aware of only God watching... of pleasing Him, enjoying Him. Being in communion with our amazing Father would change our 'idle' time as well as the time when we're busy 'doing'. So this week I'm challenging myself with living like I KNOW that God is watching. I like that truth when I'm doing good 'stuff' but when I'm struggling I pretend He is more distant and only comes when invited... So anyway - not sure if that is encouraging or what but I would accept your accountability in it as well :-) And then on a really funny note... I'm not sure how many mothers have ever experienced this but it's a good one!!! My child went to church without undies on today!! Can you imagine??? I clearly remember giving her the underwear to change into (because the other pair said "Summer Fun" and you could read it through her dress). Well she must have slipped off her fun ones and forgotten to put on the new pair. She had to run out to the bathroom at church and you can imagine my horror when I helped her with her dress to get on the toilet... so we ran back home to get the underwear on and returned to church. CRAZY!! So ya, mothers, just another thing to check before church, nose, ears, teeth, hair, zippers, socks and underwear!

Letting God

So now the nerves begin to bother me... just went to check to see the class lists for my babies... am I prepared to let go again this September? Of both of my little gems? It's amazing how when you think of them being away how angelic they seem and all you can think of is how you'll miss them (even though 3 hours ago I was thinking "ahhh I need a mommy break!") Allowing someone else the chance to spend 7 hours a day with what is MINE. Are they MINE? Is this how God feels about giving these little creatures to us... did He have feelings of apprehension that we might 'mess up' and have them become something different than what He planned? Did He give them to us in joy knowing that we would stumble, fall and keep trying through our many mistakes in child rearing; wanting us to come to Him with every decision, question or concern? Would He rather have kept them safe and sound at Home and raised them right? The thought of having disappointed my Father over and over again is something I struggle with. I will trust that God will once again give us all His amazing Spirit and He will walk us through another long school year... there will be great days and not so great days but the fact that He is always present-that's the peace that this mommy needs right now. As I watch my son play with lego on the floor at my feet creating and changing and using his wonderful imagination give me great pride; hearing my daughter playing with her petshop animals on the other side of the house (yes you an usually hear her before you see her) using the imagination that God has given her makes me smile. They'll be okay. God is their keeper - and I'm glad He is because if I was the "Keeper of the Treasure" I would do a horrible job. I'll step back and allow God to continue to hold them in His very capable hands. Here's to letting go and letting God!

For a long time now this song has brought me to tears and gives me shivers as I think about all the places I could be meeting Jesus... but instead I'm living comfortably in my home in a safe environment... seeing the face of Jesus in those around me and also going out to see His face in the world that is not around me. I love this song!! I love the heart of this song and the challenge. What Now?

The Winds of Change

Have not blogged in a while - maybe partly due to the fact that life is changing a little too quickly and also because summer is just way to fun!!! Yesterday I took the kids out to fly their kites... it was so fun and it also gave me some time for reflection on where God has brought us. He has carried us through a lot of winds of change; some good, some not so good, some permanent and some hard to accept.
A few days ago a friend was in my kitchen struggling with a change in her life and I told her that it seems like the older we get the changes in life are harder to deal with and not to become anxious about them. The changes later in life all seem so permanent and huge. Talking with Willie later that night he challenged me on that and said he thinks it's because we become more resistant to the changes, not that the changes becoming bigger or more permanent. He said he thought getting married was pretty life changing and permanent and yet we didn't have too many anxious thoughts about that one; or that November 2004 phone call we got about a beautiful little boy that was waiting to meet us in New Orleans to change our lifestyle and family forever... didn't take us too long to pack up and fly away!!
But then I wonder why are we becoming so hesitant and afraid of life's changes? Do we lack faith, purpose or insight? Do we want to control our future too much? Do we wish for comfort and security for ourselves; hiding behind 'wanting security for our children'?
I do pray that the changes that God brings will glorify Him in how we ride the waves... He speaks to us in the quiet breezes that blow over us while we reflect. He has not called us to live comfortable lives. He has good things for us...we just don't know what God's GOOD is... praying I will get to the place where I can see and recognize it before anxiety takes place in my mind.

And with that being said I read in my wonderful 'strength giver' - "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8+9 Isn't that great!! What a relief!

Enjoy your weekend and cherish those around you!

Hard Things

We walked through a difficult conversation yesterday, one that I know we will have to revisit many times as the kids grow up and become adults. We had the misfortune of being at an extended family reunion... with hundreds of people we have never seen and certainly never thought we were related to. The kids both wanted to go play outside and I'm usually a person that likes to know where her ducklings are and what they're doing, but i thought it was okay if they headed off for a while because we were not going to be there too long. Samuel found some friends from school right away which was great. I'm so thankful he wasn't alone when he heard some hard things from a complete stranger.
After an hour or so we went home and I was getting the kids to bath and bed... Samuel started to tell me some of the things that were being said to him. He said (in all his innocence) "Mommy, some boy said I lived in Africa and I told him I lived in La Crete; but he just laughed at me and said that I lived in Africa." I told him sometimes people might think that because they don't know a lot about anything... and I continued washing him.
"But mom he said that there are only white people in La Crete and people like me live in Africa." I got a little more frustrated at the complete ignorance that some people raise their kids in and I told him that he will have to learn to ignore people that say things like this. "But mom he took my shoes and threw them over the fence so that I couldn't get them... I don't know why he did that." And then the mother bear in me came out and I had to leave the bathroom and vent in my room. I just seriously can't understand how people don't know that God has created an amazing variety of people that on the outside look so different and yet on the inside have the same needs... to feel loved, accepted and appreciated. I came back into the bathroom and I told Samuel that he needed to be proud of who he was and how he 'looked', and I also told him that it's important to note that Jesus was not WHITE (or even peach - my kids think we're peach not white).
As I was getting Olivia in her pi's she said that a boy had told her that she didn't even know who her mom was. She thought that was really strange... "Like, that is so weird that he said that mommy because I know you!"
I know that these are things we have to walk through because of the community we live in but also because of the world we live in. Where judgement happens instantly without compassion or too much thought. I know the road won't be easy but I will continue on in His grace knowing that He has beautiful things for my children!
And I seriously cannot wait until we get to those Pearly Gates and all those people that think that only white people will get in... Can't wait.

Good Things

I must say Good Things were on the forefront of my mind today. So many good things when we look around and for someone that is as 'naturally' negative as me... that is completely God's Grace!
Good Things I found today:
Beauty in the lifting fog to reveal the most beautiful of days at the foot of the hills~picture perfect
Having God's peace descend on me to help me continue on without worry
Finding one can of mosquito spray when they're attacking in 'herds' (not sure if they travel in herds but it sure felt like it after the rain)
My child's smile and a charging "Mooooommmmmmeeeee" after a long day of work
A friend's constant support
Beef on a bun!!
The soft and warm glow of the sun and a puffy white cloud when it gets too hot
A perfectly timed breeze coming in from the window while I post this...

God continues to amaze me~ I wonder why does He continue to give me good things? Is He really 'for me'? Does He really care that much to give little 'ol me Good Things? Can I honour and glorify Him in ALL things? My life is so not good at times and yet He wants the Good , The Bad and the Ugly (the last two is something He gets a lot of from me)...

I'm so thankful that I have a God that I can go to in the yucky times and also in the times when I see His grace and His perfect mercy. Thank you Jesus!!

Heavenly minded

I remember years back someone telling me "Don't be so Heavenly minded that you're no earthly good." This week listening to a clip on the radio I heard something different. He mentioned that to be any earthly good you need to be Heavenly minded. I think I agree with that statement more than the first.

Sounds strange but I have recently been SO looking forward to Heaven - now don't get all out of sorts - I'm not depressed or suicidal... just really ready for all that God has promised us. I'm ready for no stress, no worries, no tears, no frustration, some seriously awesome conversations with my God, a few people that I am really missing and hoping they didn't change a bit, wishing for God's beauty - ALL of it! (Of course I would prefer to all go at the same time... I would love if all the Rapture predictions would be right already... let's get this started!)

I guess I'm Heavenly minded right now ... and looking at my house you would think I was no earthly good... :-) Maybe tomorrow I'll be earthly minded and start cleaning up this 'lived in home'... maybe not :-)