Mother of Three!

Yes the last few weeks has proved to be more delightful than my negative mind would have let me dream of. I've been reminded that God is faithful regardless of my circumstances. And the other day I sat on my couch (yes it has seen my backside a lot these last 2 weeks!) and thought of how great the moments are when we can truly sit down, exhale and have that feeling that just for the moment all things are right with the world. Elijah has been an amazing joy to have join our family, yes the nights are a little more interrupted and this old gal isn't getting as much sleep as she should but we have loved every moment with him. He sleeps and watches the kids, waits for a diaper change, sleeps during his bath, sleeps in the car seat on our way to do errands.... life is good with this precious little unexpected bundle of pure sweetness. The kids are loving the time they have with him. At first having people coming by and holding him made them react a little - wanting to have some attention but everyone has been so good with making sure they include Sam and Olivia in the celebration of Elijah's coming. We pray that God will be Elijah's rock and fortress as he grows up. My prayer is that he will have a heart that loves people and will always strive for goodness in his own life and the life of others. Praying his life will impact all that he comes into contact with. Prayers that Sam and Olivia will walk with him in his growth and understanding of a Father's unconditional love and grace. As they support each other in their understanding of adoption and the love of the mother's that carried them. And that brings me into my latest rant... MY KIDS ARE LOVED!!!! It's been a while since we had a baby and I guess I've forgotten the comments that some people just need to make when they see our children. Some of it is very innocent and I'm okay with that... some are just plain ignorance... some is just crazy! I've had a few people look at Elijah and say "Why would someone give something like this away?" And my quick response is "Because she LOVES him!" that simple! The mothers that carried our babies love their kids so much and always will. In a day when pregnancies can be terminated quite simply at pretty much anytime these women took the harder road and allowed (after all they had gone through in 9 months and the pain of saying goodbye to their baby) another family to raise their child. And I've said before that these woman didn't necessarily have a choice. People that see our children and venture to imagine the life of their birth mom without a thought to life.... ya - I'll leave it at that. And please even if you think it don't ever say "So his mom just didn't want him?!" Please don't ever say that to my child! If you could see the pain in her eyes as she looked at her son the last time you would not dare say that!! If you could hear my 5 year old pray for her birth mom - that she wouldn't be sad because she missed her baby so much... My children have a long legacy of love already! They are loved by the God who created them, a mother who carried them and now us, an undeserving family of four that is excited to be five!!! Glad our life will never be the same again!!

Time for another Celebration...

Yes there is another little one joining our family of four - that would make five :-) But I don't have a sweet clue how to change the title of my blog... We are not sure what we're in for but we are comforted knowing we still have more arms than kids so even though we are outnumbered in the parent/child ratio we might still keep it all together. And now for some details... he's a boy - he's healthy - he's waiting. Waiting for the government to do their thing and off we go to get a little break from this snowy winter wonderland. When I'm feeling more inspired I'll sit down and blog some more.

Celebrating my First Born!

My last post was about celebrating our daughter - the beautiful gem that God has allowed us to hold, cherish and prepare for Kingdom work. Sounds super spiritual but in reality the day to day 'stuff' isn't always that glorious. But I am always reminded of what a treasure she is. And then on to my next celebration... our son who came to us before Christmas - a true gift (who was actually born on Thanksgiving Day in the wonderful city of New Orleans). We will always be thankful to that amazing woman that gave birth to him and has allowed us to raise this amazing little (well pretty stinkin' tall) boy! I love my kids with all my heart and I'm so excited for birthday parties which I can really go all out and celebrate who they are in our lives and in the sight of God - Precious!! So as I prepare for a week of partying I do so in hopes that there is a beautiful woman somewhere in the south that is getting wrapped in love, mercy and peace knowing her amazing gift is not only appreciated but loved without measure!!

Celebration day

Sorry I was going to add a video clip to my last post... apparently I'm not as tech savvy as I had hoped. We celebrated Olivia's fifth birthday this last week (only two weeks late) but I found it was a lot easier (because life is supposed to be easy *insert sarcasm*) to not do it on her actual birth date. Usually on the kids birthday's and the days leading up to them my heart is so heavy for the mother that walked the last few days with her baby within. I am burdened at the choice they had no choice but to make. All the emotions of that are with me and I can't even imagine because it's not something I have had to experience. After a few years I've done my best to continue through the guilt of having received something so undeserved from someone's eternal pain but it still comes to me occasionally. My kids might wish that I would have those feelings rush over me about the time I'm ready to discipline :-) So anyway sorry... got way off track there. We had a GREAT birthday party filled with my girls favourite things... her friends, FOOD, and flowers from her daddy. I'm so thankful that she has changed our lives to be so much more than we could have thought it might be. Saturday - the day after I was doing some serious cleaning (pizza sauce off the kitchen floor, cupboards, stovetop, cake, sprinkles and icing off the living room floor, etc) and said out loud, "I can't believe I live this way" It was meant to be a negative statement but as I heard myself say it I realized that it was so good. Yes 10 years ago I agreed to marry someone and I had my life figured out and it was quite neat, organized and relatively predictable... not so much anymore but it's so much more full of life and Christ then I could have ever dreamt! So yeah for celebrating my sweet little Sapphire - you are my gem!

Changing the culture...

I continue to wonder why there are still children waiting - is it the system, is it our mindsets of what we think 'the perfect family' should look like, is it finances, fear, us not wanting to 'affect' the kids that are in our homes already? I really struggle with this one.

Seriously?

Ok so my latest rant on what God's will is... I am so tired of people looking at circumstances and situations in life and then saying "Well that was God's plan..." NO IT WAS NOT!!!!! God does not will for hurt, pain, devastation, death, frustration.... His Will was for Adam and Eve to live in Eden. Well we know how that worked out don't we? I know God can redeem any situation in life but I do not believe that it was in his will that a young mother should die to leave her children when they are 7 and 5 to a grandma that has to work to make ends meet, I don't believe that God's will if for any mother to have to say goodbye to her child, or that any child should suffer at the hands of another in despicable ways, so many things that people just 'pray away' as God's will and we should just accept it and keep on living!! Sorry but it really drives me crazy. We are living in a fallen world and yes God is God and that's awesome but not everything that happens to us in our lives is because they were supposed to happen!! None of this was supposed to happen - we should be running around in Eden right now. Just sayin'

Still trying to figure it out

Yup, still not sure what "Fear God" looks like so this is the latest 'revelation' I received in Sunday School yesterday. I think we find it easier to revere or respect God because it makes us feel good. We feel like we've done 'good' when we have been respectful. To FEAR God would be very uncomfortable - it's not a good feeling to be terrified. We live life for us - face it - it's truth! God has created us for Himself and yet we live this life as if it is ours. It's a complete changing of the mind to switch that around. My circumstances... no it should be about Him, my stuff... no I shouldn't have it unless it can bring glory to Him, my kids... nope again - I need to raise them to know their God but how can I if I don't know? We have become so graceful and loving and comforting... we need to come to the Fear of God so that we can know Him more. Psalms says the fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom.. we don't receive wisdom until we get to have that experience with God where we see Him and truly Fear him! I want wisdom! I want to have that experience with God!! But do I want it for ME or for HIM? My thoughts for this week...

Fear God

We talked about this in our Sunday School class today... only briefly but I've been thinking about it a lot today. Wondering if I really even know what Fear God means. I have come to the place where my relationship with God is so casual. It's disappointing to me that I don't have Fear of God and yet I fear so many other things, like change, air travel, death, disappointment, deep water, etc. And yet God is the one that holds me and carries me through every one of those 'earthly' things I fear. To tremble before God in fear is something I need to come to. To understand just a very small part of how Holy he is would cause me to shake in my boots. Not just reverence but real fear. I'll have to be thinking about this a bit more. And if you want to watch a bit of what we're doing in Sunday School you can see it on YouTube - Francis Chan Basic Series.

Light as a Feather

Warning: This is a very random post. I needed something mindless to do because I'm almost at the place where I'll say I'm Freaking Out but I don't want to cross over to that so here goes... My kids and I LOVE Horton Hears a Who - Favorite movie and we could watch it forever. Sam often in the middle of playing something quietly says "Light as a feather; light as a feather" - the part where Horton is on the hanging bridge ... and I thought of it today when my head was getting full of what I needed to get done and facing the reality that it might not get done. I start holding my breath and am trying to become "light as a feather' as I walk across a bridge that is breaking underneath my feet... I really do miss my kids when they're not here and I'm thankful when my mind is filled with random memories. School is almost over for the first week and this mama needs her kids to love on for the weekend. Can't wait! Leave it all behind and enjoy the weekend and face the week when it gets here... why rush is. Can't change anything by worrying or thinking about it so hooray... let the weekend begin - I hear the school bus now. :-)

God in the face of my children

I don't think a day goes by when I don't experience God through my kids. Now don't get me wrong... not everyday is a beautiful, dreamy journey but I do see Him either in what they do, say or like today just in 'being'. One of my favourite things is watching Samuel play outside. He enters another world and just enjoys life. I love it!! He was on the swing today and pumping up as high as he could, as he got closer to the tree branches behind him his smile got bigger and his eyes had this beautiful sparkle. It was so sweet. Then he noticed me watching and this changed everything... he became more aware of it and the sparkle in his eyes was replaced with wanting to be noticed and accepted. I thought of how that happens in our lives... we enjoy life until we remember someone is watching us and then we do things for others so that they will approve and accept what we do. Or we fear doing something wrong or being judged. We become self aware and it takes away joy. But then I flipped this whole thought (yes I was doing dishes and it was a great time of thought provoking analysis) I thought of how we should be aware of only God watching... of pleasing Him, enjoying Him. Being in communion with our amazing Father would change our 'idle' time as well as the time when we're busy 'doing'. So this week I'm challenging myself with living like I KNOW that God is watching. I like that truth when I'm doing good 'stuff' but when I'm struggling I pretend He is more distant and only comes when invited... So anyway - not sure if that is encouraging or what but I would accept your accountability in it as well :-) And then on a really funny note... I'm not sure how many mothers have ever experienced this but it's a good one!!! My child went to church without undies on today!! Can you imagine??? I clearly remember giving her the underwear to change into (because the other pair said "Summer Fun" and you could read it through her dress). Well she must have slipped off her fun ones and forgotten to put on the new pair. She had to run out to the bathroom at church and you can imagine my horror when I helped her with her dress to get on the toilet... so we ran back home to get the underwear on and returned to church. CRAZY!! So ya, mothers, just another thing to check before church, nose, ears, teeth, hair, zippers, socks and underwear!

Letting God

So now the nerves begin to bother me... just went to check to see the class lists for my babies... am I prepared to let go again this September? Of both of my little gems? It's amazing how when you think of them being away how angelic they seem and all you can think of is how you'll miss them (even though 3 hours ago I was thinking "ahhh I need a mommy break!") Allowing someone else the chance to spend 7 hours a day with what is MINE. Are they MINE? Is this how God feels about giving these little creatures to us... did He have feelings of apprehension that we might 'mess up' and have them become something different than what He planned? Did He give them to us in joy knowing that we would stumble, fall and keep trying through our many mistakes in child rearing; wanting us to come to Him with every decision, question or concern? Would He rather have kept them safe and sound at Home and raised them right? The thought of having disappointed my Father over and over again is something I struggle with. I will trust that God will once again give us all His amazing Spirit and He will walk us through another long school year... there will be great days and not so great days but the fact that He is always present-that's the peace that this mommy needs right now. As I watch my son play with lego on the floor at my feet creating and changing and using his wonderful imagination give me great pride; hearing my daughter playing with her petshop animals on the other side of the house (yes you an usually hear her before you see her) using the imagination that God has given her makes me smile. They'll be okay. God is their keeper - and I'm glad He is because if I was the "Keeper of the Treasure" I would do a horrible job. I'll step back and allow God to continue to hold them in His very capable hands. Here's to letting go and letting God!

For a long time now this song has brought me to tears and gives me shivers as I think about all the places I could be meeting Jesus... but instead I'm living comfortably in my home in a safe environment... seeing the face of Jesus in those around me and also going out to see His face in the world that is not around me. I love this song!! I love the heart of this song and the challenge. What Now?

The Winds of Change

Have not blogged in a while - maybe partly due to the fact that life is changing a little too quickly and also because summer is just way to fun!!! Yesterday I took the kids out to fly their kites... it was so fun and it also gave me some time for reflection on where God has brought us. He has carried us through a lot of winds of change; some good, some not so good, some permanent and some hard to accept.
A few days ago a friend was in my kitchen struggling with a change in her life and I told her that it seems like the older we get the changes in life are harder to deal with and not to become anxious about them. The changes later in life all seem so permanent and huge. Talking with Willie later that night he challenged me on that and said he thinks it's because we become more resistant to the changes, not that the changes becoming bigger or more permanent. He said he thought getting married was pretty life changing and permanent and yet we didn't have too many anxious thoughts about that one; or that November 2004 phone call we got about a beautiful little boy that was waiting to meet us in New Orleans to change our lifestyle and family forever... didn't take us too long to pack up and fly away!!
But then I wonder why are we becoming so hesitant and afraid of life's changes? Do we lack faith, purpose or insight? Do we want to control our future too much? Do we wish for comfort and security for ourselves; hiding behind 'wanting security for our children'?
I do pray that the changes that God brings will glorify Him in how we ride the waves... He speaks to us in the quiet breezes that blow over us while we reflect. He has not called us to live comfortable lives. He has good things for us...we just don't know what God's GOOD is... praying I will get to the place where I can see and recognize it before anxiety takes place in my mind.

And with that being said I read in my wonderful 'strength giver' - "My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the LORD. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8+9 Isn't that great!! What a relief!

Enjoy your weekend and cherish those around you!

Hard Things

We walked through a difficult conversation yesterday, one that I know we will have to revisit many times as the kids grow up and become adults. We had the misfortune of being at an extended family reunion... with hundreds of people we have never seen and certainly never thought we were related to. The kids both wanted to go play outside and I'm usually a person that likes to know where her ducklings are and what they're doing, but i thought it was okay if they headed off for a while because we were not going to be there too long. Samuel found some friends from school right away which was great. I'm so thankful he wasn't alone when he heard some hard things from a complete stranger.
After an hour or so we went home and I was getting the kids to bath and bed... Samuel started to tell me some of the things that were being said to him. He said (in all his innocence) "Mommy, some boy said I lived in Africa and I told him I lived in La Crete; but he just laughed at me and said that I lived in Africa." I told him sometimes people might think that because they don't know a lot about anything... and I continued washing him.
"But mom he said that there are only white people in La Crete and people like me live in Africa." I got a little more frustrated at the complete ignorance that some people raise their kids in and I told him that he will have to learn to ignore people that say things like this. "But mom he took my shoes and threw them over the fence so that I couldn't get them... I don't know why he did that." And then the mother bear in me came out and I had to leave the bathroom and vent in my room. I just seriously can't understand how people don't know that God has created an amazing variety of people that on the outside look so different and yet on the inside have the same needs... to feel loved, accepted and appreciated. I came back into the bathroom and I told Samuel that he needed to be proud of who he was and how he 'looked', and I also told him that it's important to note that Jesus was not WHITE (or even peach - my kids think we're peach not white).
As I was getting Olivia in her pi's she said that a boy had told her that she didn't even know who her mom was. She thought that was really strange... "Like, that is so weird that he said that mommy because I know you!"
I know that these are things we have to walk through because of the community we live in but also because of the world we live in. Where judgement happens instantly without compassion or too much thought. I know the road won't be easy but I will continue on in His grace knowing that He has beautiful things for my children!
And I seriously cannot wait until we get to those Pearly Gates and all those people that think that only white people will get in... Can't wait.

Good Things

I must say Good Things were on the forefront of my mind today. So many good things when we look around and for someone that is as 'naturally' negative as me... that is completely God's Grace!
Good Things I found today:
Beauty in the lifting fog to reveal the most beautiful of days at the foot of the hills~picture perfect
Having God's peace descend on me to help me continue on without worry
Finding one can of mosquito spray when they're attacking in 'herds' (not sure if they travel in herds but it sure felt like it after the rain)
My child's smile and a charging "Mooooommmmmmeeeee" after a long day of work
A friend's constant support
Beef on a bun!!
The soft and warm glow of the sun and a puffy white cloud when it gets too hot
A perfectly timed breeze coming in from the window while I post this...

God continues to amaze me~ I wonder why does He continue to give me good things? Is He really 'for me'? Does He really care that much to give little 'ol me Good Things? Can I honour and glorify Him in ALL things? My life is so not good at times and yet He wants the Good , The Bad and the Ugly (the last two is something He gets a lot of from me)...

I'm so thankful that I have a God that I can go to in the yucky times and also in the times when I see His grace and His perfect mercy. Thank you Jesus!!

Heavenly minded

I remember years back someone telling me "Don't be so Heavenly minded that you're no earthly good." This week listening to a clip on the radio I heard something different. He mentioned that to be any earthly good you need to be Heavenly minded. I think I agree with that statement more than the first.

Sounds strange but I have recently been SO looking forward to Heaven - now don't get all out of sorts - I'm not depressed or suicidal... just really ready for all that God has promised us. I'm ready for no stress, no worries, no tears, no frustration, some seriously awesome conversations with my God, a few people that I am really missing and hoping they didn't change a bit, wishing for God's beauty - ALL of it! (Of course I would prefer to all go at the same time... I would love if all the Rapture predictions would be right already... let's get this started!)

I guess I'm Heavenly minded right now ... and looking at my house you would think I was no earthly good... :-) Maybe tomorrow I'll be earthly minded and start cleaning up this 'lived in home'... maybe not :-)

Cherish

I've been wanting to blog about this for some time now and can't seem to get it right in words so I usually start and delete it all and leave it for another evening when I feel this deep emotion .... maybe today is the day it will publish :-)

It's so easy to get lost in life. Just going through the motions and one day ends and another begins and before you know it the day is over once again and soon you find yourself 6 years and 8 months into motherhood and you're overwhelmed at the fact that God has more for us all. He intended our son to live - YES - but not with us. I know that will throw some of you off but I really know this is not how it was supposed to be. I know God has a will and a plan dot get me wrong, but I believe that things happen that God didt intend to happen and then other plans are made. When Samuel's birthmother couldn't be an everyday mom to him God found us for him. Completely underserving of a gift; we accepted with open hearts and arms. Feelings of deep guilt that we would benefit from one woman's pain...it would take me years to deal with... shoving it down so that I wouldn't feel it or have to express it to anyone. No one would care, no one would understand. I'm not sure if I've learned to accept it even now... People would make comments that our kids are so lucky to have us... We always respond with "NO, we're the lucky ones"

Birthmom's give their heart, their soul and their future to someone else praying that the life of their child will be better than what they have for them. I struggle with that, thinking taking children out of the their culture and their 'homeland' can't be the best for them. Thinking of a woman that has to walk through the grief of losing their child, her having to make that choice - it is truly unbearable to think. I doubt that any of them have ever wanted to make this decision. To be so quick in saying "Well she made this choice" You know sometimes I don't think they get the luxury of making the decision... the decision is made for them simply by their circumstances.

People say "Oh, I can't believe how someone could give up their own child"... well you haven't lived a day in their shoes and you don't know how allowing someone else to parent their child is the largest act of love ever displayed! They have huge hopes and dreams for their child and hope to give them a better chance at life; praying that they don't have to live the life they had to. It is so selfless and can only be done with God!

We respect the women that have to walk this path and carry this burden - these women have more strength and faith than I have and I cherish them with all my heart.

My kids have a very special place in their hearts and lives for the women that gave birth to them... today at lunch Olivia just randomly said "I miss my tummy mommy" and I was quick to respond "And I know she misses you every day sweetie" That very serious comment got lighter when Samuel said "When my tummy mommy had coffee, I just had a little bit. And her breathe smells like Tony's." (Tony's is a Louisiana Hot Sauce that we all love)

Sweet and serious...
not sure if any of this makes any sense... just sayin'

waiting here for you with lyrics

What does it LOOK like?

I have thought a lot about what Faith looks like lately. What does patience look like? Grace? How about Peace? If I could possess all these attributes, or are they gifts?? It's so easy to say words but it's so much more difficult to live! I have a deep soul desire to have Faith in my God... a Faith that will move mountains but yet those mountains at times are all around and the valleys only deepen. When will the mountains move? Is it because of my lack of faith or is it just not time for them to move; or did I take the wrong path and need to turn around and get out of there? Is is me moving or the mountain?

Yes I have as many questions as my kiddos!! I wish to have the beautiful faith of a child.... they trust so easily and they don't worry. I pray for them to always have the faith they have now - faith that people are good, God is good and life is just good! I do know God is good but wow, life isn't always the same!!

And now reading this I am wondering if I should be deleting this... kinda depressing. Sorry! I guess I just have questions - do you have answers that I need to hear?

What Are You Living For? - Francis Chan

I LOVE this illustration! How true! How encouraging!

Living Today

I've been challenged to live life today. To stop looking ahead, either in excited anticipation or in dreaded fear. I really desire to just be what God wants me to be TODAY. Not to think "I'll work on that and maybe I'll 'arrive' sometime before Jesus comes" or "I'll never be that good or faithful or patient or kind, etc". But to wake up in the morning and know that He has given me right now... to greet my children with the same grace that He greets me with every morning. To start the day in prayer and in His word.
This morning I was sitting on the couch in my regular spot as my girl came out of her room; completely sleepy-eyed and as she finished her first question *which is ALWAYS-Where is Daddy?* she asked "Mommy are you praying?" And that did my heart good because she recognized that is something I like to take time for in the morning before the day begins and I rarely sit back down to spend time with Him. I'm not saying this to 'brag' that I do this in the morning but to remind myself how important it is to show my kids that this is a 'normal' thing and it should happen more than just in the morning...
But having said that, as I told a friend this morning, I have been in a dry land lately with my prayer... I feel as though I don't have words anymore and am relying on the Spirit to pray for me. I need Him to carry me right now. So as Olivia asked me that question I was surprised that she knew something was happening even if I didn't know. God speaks to children and they are so close to Him - it amazes me.
Thank you Jesus for a simple gift today. Let me view your mercy as a Daily Gift.

First Choice

Lately I've been thinking about our family and how beautiful it is. How I cherish it with all I have and how I'm so thankful that WE choose this. I so often think that adoption is viewed as a second choice (or third or last resort). It's not. It wasn't for us and I'm thankful that God made a way for our family to come together the way that it did.

Just had to voice that ... now I'll sleep and have something more inspiring on that topic later...

Just Love Coffee

Hey just a little plug for some 'fundraising' we're trying out. Came upon this website...

so if you like coffee and would like to purchase some please visit the website:

http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheFriesenFamily

Thanks so much!

Faith

"Faith is the confidence that what we HOPE for will actually happen; it gives us ASSURANCE about things we cannot see." Hebrews 11:1
It's been some time since I sat down and read Hebrews 11 and I usually read more than a chapter at a time but I couldn't get passed this one this morning. It struck me at how faith is so important in our daily walk. God requires it from us and yet I live in worry and fear for most of the day or I get side tracked by stresses of my circumstances.
"Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation." vs2 ~ I want to earn a good reputation! I want to be faithful!! I think it would help if I would look at today and concentrate on how to glorify Him TODAY. Look forward to tomorrow and the opportunity to do it again but not to be anxious about something you can't change!!
And what should we HOPE for? Is it a new home, a vehicle that we think we need because this one is not feeling so reliable, a house that cleans itself, kids that obey, good weather, more children, laundry that magically disappears, meals on wheels??? I want what I HOPE for to be something that He has put on my heart because then I think it will truly be something I'm not anxious over but something I know He will bring...maybe not for me but for someone... "All these people died still believing what God had promised them. They did not receive what was promised, but they saw it all from a distance and welcomed it." vs13

What you don't have...

I've thought about those words lately. Again, watching the movie "Gifted Hands" has made me consider a lot of things and has inspired me to change a lot of things when it comes to motherhood.

The mother in the movie gave what she did not have. She instilled amazing values and worth into your children. Here I had listened to the words that said "You cannot give what you do not have." I see that is so wrong! We have nothing!! God has everything and if we want to be good mothers we should be giving what GOD has - which is everything!! I'm encouraged because I don't have a lot of self worth, inspiration, insight, decrement, knowledge, wisdom, grace....etc. etc.... but I can give my children those things if I allow Him to pour out into me and out again into the beautiful children he has given me. What an amazing opportunity!!!!

Be encouraged!! Breathe life into those around you!

Not Keeping Up

So apparently my inspiration only lasted a short while... To be completely honest (which is always better than just a little honest) I've had no energy to do anything lately. I'm so super lazy and I can't seem to get going on anything let alone finish what I get going on. I'm hoping this is a phase that will pass quickly!
I am amazed at the fact that Samuel's first year of school is almost over!! He has 3 more days of school. How can that be??? And I become that mom that says "Where did the time go?" I will learn to cherish more!! I have always pushed Sam and have expected so much from him and now I see how quickly they grow up and I think I'll start applying the breaks!!
I watched a movie last weekend (which is a super rare occurrence so I'm so glad it was a gooder!), called Gifted Hands. And even though it was a riveting drama it touched my soul like no other movie has. I needed to watch it at the stage that my parenting is at right now. The mother in the movie is the most inspiring mother I've ever seen! She instilled an amazing sense of self worth in her boys that she did not possess. I can't really explain it so if you haven't seen it you should! God has given every child EVERYTHING and I think it's our job as parents to see who they are and to draw out of them what He intended them to use. To show them what imagination is and to show them what potential is. I sometimes feel like I'm in a spectator sport and I'm just watching my kids grow up instead of actively 'growing up' with them.
Wow I have so much changing to do and I want to...and then I think of my lack of energy and I stay on the couch... time to sign off and go play 'restaurant' with my girl.
Hope you have a great day! Know that God's mercies are new EVERY morning.

It's Been a While

Well a friend of mine inspired me to continue writing on this blog that I started over 2 years ago, before we headed to Texas/Mississippi to work with MDS... I didn't think much happens in our day to day life that would be worthy of updating but I guess for all of you who don't live here this would still be remotely helpful.
Life is full of uncertainties and I've been struggling with that and the fact that I'm not in control. This Easter I've just come to a very real realization that God is a God of LOVE and He is always with us regardless if it's through good things or bad. Why do I want to be in control??? He's got it figured out...why stress about not knowing. I should spend more time getting to know the One that knows - and rest in that.
I'm so thankful for the beautiful children I have the pleasure of raising for God and for the man that was placed in my life for a reason... he is my rock and the one that has made me the woman I am today.
Thanks Mel for getting me to write again... It forces me to see the beauty in every day knowing that others are 'reading' my thoughts (well some of the thoughts that run through this crazy head in a day).

Praying for a year that is filled with His glory in a million different ways!