A Time of Firsts and Lasts

An amazing young mother of three spent here first weekend in Heaven... and as excited I am for her I hurt for her husband, her kids, her family and for her best friend. I met Amanda and Ruth 4 years ago when Willie and I and our 4 and 2 year old kiddos headed down to the southern states to volunteer for a few months with MDS. I remember coming into the building where we did our new week orientation thinking - oh yay there's someone my age (and in the same stage of life) here this week... Amanda was 5 months pregnant and Ruth was in her first trimester with a little girl at home. To say the least they were both glowing!! We had a great time - it felt like we had always known each other. So in 2010 we make the trek out to Pennsylvania to spend some time with them and to meet those little ones that had been born. And memories were made. Ruth was such a vibrant and fun personality! So much fun to be with! And her kids obviously loved their momma! And for some reason God was okay with taking her to be with him and leaving her little ones behind - and I don't get it. I don't understand any of it!!! And I'm removed from the situation so I don't get the covering that God puts over people that are walking through it. But for Mark, her husband this is his reality. He has three kids to raise on his own - with help from friends and family but at the end of the day he is the one that is praying with his kids and tucking them in... and walks to an empty bed - alone. Trying to keep her memory alive for them, but knowing that in time she will only be a memory. God how can you be glorified in this? Amanda will no longer call her friend to talk about nothing and everything on a daily basis... she'll be doing her best to take care of her 9 month old baby that will never remember her mother... I don't get it. This sounds angry and negative and well to be honest that is what it is. And that reminds me of the saying that is my life "It is what it is". And yes I know God is faithful and that it's all about Him and not about our life and our comforts... but I am a mother! I know how much I want to be the one to watch my kids grow up and to just hold them and love them and struggle through things and to see their sweet rewards... and I know how much they need their mom! Why would it be all in His perfect plan to take a healthy, young mom from her kids for them to grow up without her?? Please pray for Mark as he learns to survive without his best friend and wife, for Esther who is 5, Isaac who is 3 and Rubie who is 9 months... and for my friend Amanda who is wondering how this is all going to work out with out her sweet friend Ruth!

The Prettiest Gem ~ a Sapphire

Six years ago a beautiful young lady, whom we cherish dearly, gave birth to a perfect and tiny 2lb 9oz little Sapphire! Even though she made her entrance to the world slightly early she was a fighter (a trait that she has kept), she was never unwanted, unloved or unexpected! Her mother gave her heart to this little girl and through the years I see her mother's heart in her and see the love she has for her birthmom. I have no idea the pain that she went through or the joy she felt as she finally got to hold her miracle and take her home. How many hours she held her, watching her sleep, breath peacefully, study every feature of her beautiful face. How many hours did she pray that God would give her another miracle and allow her to raise her on her own... ...that miracle didn't come for her. On October 9th I do a lot of crying!! I hurt for her and am frustrated at life. Why we have so much and take everything for granted. How we couldn't even imagine how many people don't have a CHOICE to make - the choices are made for them and they have to live through that. Why do we live so comfortably when most of the world struggles with real 'stuff'. But even though we don't understand why God wouldn't have given her that - we pray she has been given peace, comfort and love. Our family accepted our undeserving gift and have had almost six years of laughter, tears and astonishing moments with our daughter - whom God saw us fit enough to raise to know and follow Him. What a journey it will be!!! Olivia Sapphire - you are loved by so many!!!! Let the party begin!!