A New Year and Opportunities

I LOVE calendars! Love the look of a fresh day-timer... no marking - just dates and lines and space for ink to fill with excitement, anticipation of things to come, plans, expectations of things to happen. I love the promise of good things. God has put a heart of expectation in me and yes that has come with pain as well as things that I have waited for have not become reality. But to carry on after expectations have not happened the way I had planned but to see God in those times and allow Him to put a new song in my heart and fresh anticipation for the next 'thing' on the agenda. Yes I spend a lot of time thinking of what is to come but I'm trying to do the whole "live in the moment' and enjoying today... but it's hard. Right now I'm enjoying every moment with Elijah and not waiting for the stages to pass too quickly. Loving the holding, feeding, changing, holding, loving, wrapping, rocking, holding stage :-) LOVE it! There are so many other things I should be doing but I just don't want to - might mean I'm lazy or unorganized right now but that's okay. He'll be off and running in no time and there will be plenty of time between running after him to do the laundry, wash the floor, organize my closets... or maybe I'll just wait until they're all in college. This is random but had to share it anyway. A while ago I was really struggling with fear, fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of the future, fear of death stealing life around me - it was ugly and I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to say that I have VICTORY in Jesus yet but I feel that it's something that is behind me now... but anyway - heard something of worth today in a message I was listening to online. God says FEAR NOT - he doesn't say to not FEEL fear - he says when you fear, don't run off. Remain in Him and He'll take care of what you fear. Not sure if it makes sense to you but it does to me and I love it! So true. We can be so afraid to feel emotions that are negative but I think if we feel them the important thing is to allow Him to walk with you through it. Call to Him and He will answer you (Jeremiah) There will be more photos soon! Sorry (goes with the whole being lazy section of my life) - I'll get to it soon.