Celebrating my First Born!

My last post was about celebrating our daughter - the beautiful gem that God has allowed us to hold, cherish and prepare for Kingdom work. Sounds super spiritual but in reality the day to day 'stuff' isn't always that glorious. But I am always reminded of what a treasure she is. And then on to my next celebration... our son who came to us before Christmas - a true gift (who was actually born on Thanksgiving Day in the wonderful city of New Orleans). We will always be thankful to that amazing woman that gave birth to him and has allowed us to raise this amazing little (well pretty stinkin' tall) boy! I love my kids with all my heart and I'm so excited for birthday parties which I can really go all out and celebrate who they are in our lives and in the sight of God - Precious!! So as I prepare for a week of partying I do so in hopes that there is a beautiful woman somewhere in the south that is getting wrapped in love, mercy and peace knowing her amazing gift is not only appreciated but loved without measure!!

Celebration day

Sorry I was going to add a video clip to my last post... apparently I'm not as tech savvy as I had hoped. We celebrated Olivia's fifth birthday this last week (only two weeks late) but I found it was a lot easier (because life is supposed to be easy *insert sarcasm*) to not do it on her actual birth date. Usually on the kids birthday's and the days leading up to them my heart is so heavy for the mother that walked the last few days with her baby within. I am burdened at the choice they had no choice but to make. All the emotions of that are with me and I can't even imagine because it's not something I have had to experience. After a few years I've done my best to continue through the guilt of having received something so undeserved from someone's eternal pain but it still comes to me occasionally. My kids might wish that I would have those feelings rush over me about the time I'm ready to discipline :-) So anyway sorry... got way off track there. We had a GREAT birthday party filled with my girls favourite things... her friends, FOOD, and flowers from her daddy. I'm so thankful that she has changed our lives to be so much more than we could have thought it might be. Saturday - the day after I was doing some serious cleaning (pizza sauce off the kitchen floor, cupboards, stovetop, cake, sprinkles and icing off the living room floor, etc) and said out loud, "I can't believe I live this way" It was meant to be a negative statement but as I heard myself say it I realized that it was so good. Yes 10 years ago I agreed to marry someone and I had my life figured out and it was quite neat, organized and relatively predictable... not so much anymore but it's so much more full of life and Christ then I could have ever dreamt! So yeah for celebrating my sweet little Sapphire - you are my gem!

Changing the culture...

I continue to wonder why there are still children waiting - is it the system, is it our mindsets of what we think 'the perfect family' should look like, is it finances, fear, us not wanting to 'affect' the kids that are in our homes already? I really struggle with this one.

Seriously?

Ok so my latest rant on what God's will is... I am so tired of people looking at circumstances and situations in life and then saying "Well that was God's plan..." NO IT WAS NOT!!!!! God does not will for hurt, pain, devastation, death, frustration.... His Will was for Adam and Eve to live in Eden. Well we know how that worked out don't we? I know God can redeem any situation in life but I do not believe that it was in his will that a young mother should die to leave her children when they are 7 and 5 to a grandma that has to work to make ends meet, I don't believe that God's will if for any mother to have to say goodbye to her child, or that any child should suffer at the hands of another in despicable ways, so many things that people just 'pray away' as God's will and we should just accept it and keep on living!! Sorry but it really drives me crazy. We are living in a fallen world and yes God is God and that's awesome but not everything that happens to us in our lives is because they were supposed to happen!! None of this was supposed to happen - we should be running around in Eden right now. Just sayin'

Still trying to figure it out

Yup, still not sure what "Fear God" looks like so this is the latest 'revelation' I received in Sunday School yesterday. I think we find it easier to revere or respect God because it makes us feel good. We feel like we've done 'good' when we have been respectful. To FEAR God would be very uncomfortable - it's not a good feeling to be terrified. We live life for us - face it - it's truth! God has created us for Himself and yet we live this life as if it is ours. It's a complete changing of the mind to switch that around. My circumstances... no it should be about Him, my stuff... no I shouldn't have it unless it can bring glory to Him, my kids... nope again - I need to raise them to know their God but how can I if I don't know? We have become so graceful and loving and comforting... we need to come to the Fear of God so that we can know Him more. Psalms says the fear of God is the beginning of all wisdom.. we don't receive wisdom until we get to have that experience with God where we see Him and truly Fear him! I want wisdom! I want to have that experience with God!! But do I want it for ME or for HIM? My thoughts for this week...

Fear God

We talked about this in our Sunday School class today... only briefly but I've been thinking about it a lot today. Wondering if I really even know what Fear God means. I have come to the place where my relationship with God is so casual. It's disappointing to me that I don't have Fear of God and yet I fear so many other things, like change, air travel, death, disappointment, deep water, etc. And yet God is the one that holds me and carries me through every one of those 'earthly' things I fear. To tremble before God in fear is something I need to come to. To understand just a very small part of how Holy he is would cause me to shake in my boots. Not just reverence but real fear. I'll have to be thinking about this a bit more. And if you want to watch a bit of what we're doing in Sunday School you can see it on YouTube - Francis Chan Basic Series.

Light as a Feather

Warning: This is a very random post. I needed something mindless to do because I'm almost at the place where I'll say I'm Freaking Out but I don't want to cross over to that so here goes... My kids and I LOVE Horton Hears a Who - Favorite movie and we could watch it forever. Sam often in the middle of playing something quietly says "Light as a feather; light as a feather" - the part where Horton is on the hanging bridge ... and I thought of it today when my head was getting full of what I needed to get done and facing the reality that it might not get done. I start holding my breath and am trying to become "light as a feather' as I walk across a bridge that is breaking underneath my feet... I really do miss my kids when they're not here and I'm thankful when my mind is filled with random memories. School is almost over for the first week and this mama needs her kids to love on for the weekend. Can't wait! Leave it all behind and enjoy the weekend and face the week when it gets here... why rush is. Can't change anything by worrying or thinking about it so hooray... let the weekend begin - I hear the school bus now. :-)